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The teachings of the church follow traits of that of an abusive relationship: 

 

1. Controlling how you dress or look.  

 

1. Isolating you from people/resources that can help- The repeated call for members to spend time in only Mormon-appropriate places with other Mormons. The Church even isolates you from yourself, telling you that you are inherently sinful and untrustworthy. You’re only allowed to read leadership-approved material and go to leadership-approved counseling and therapy. 

 

1. Threats of violence- If you don’t obey God and the commandments, you will be condemned to Hell for all time and eternity. That is a threat.  

 

1. Withholding needs- When asking for church welfare assistance there is an interview where you need to prove that you are “worthy” of receiving help. The bishop (not social worker) asks probing and personal questions and -maybe- if you pass the interview, you can receive help.

 

1. Devaluing/degrading you- If you grew up in the church, you spent your whole life being told that you are imperfect, that you’ll never be good enough, that you’re broken, that you’re lost, that you need to repent, and that you can never survive without the Church and its teachings. (You can; I promise.) 

 

1. Gaslighting- The church gaslights its members in all sorts of ways. From redacting all forms of church material covering their mistakes, to denying and accepting whatever they need to so that members remain under their control. They wear members down with the same messages repeatedly, so their brains are programmed into this belief system. Gaslighting also includes telling you how you feel, what you think, what you mean, assigning motives to you, insisting you’re lying/hiding, and twisting what you said/did. 

 

1. Refusing to let you speak- Any questions or concerns that might be brought up that threaten the validity of the teachings of the church are immediately silenced or rebuked. Members aren’t allowed to question anything, especially the LDS general authorities. In 2017 when a 12-year-old girl bore her testimony on how she was gay and still had faith in the church, the bishop cut off the mic and refused to let her finish speaking. (love is love is love is… cut the mic- Elna Baker) 

 

1. The abuser is always right- The leaders of the church never take accountability for their actions. From the racist and sexist actions of the past, well into the present, not only with the original history, but also current scandals. “The church doesn’t seek apologies, and we don’t give them.” - Dallin H. Oaks, LDS First Presidency, - Salt Lake Tribune 2015 

 

 

1. Victims always take the blame- If something good happens, it was from God. But if something bad happens it’s the fault of the member because they didn’t have enough faith, and weren't obedient enough, OR it's a “test” to “prove” worth.  

 

1. Making it hard for you to attend work or school- With the strong emphasis on getting married and having large families young, it often leaves the man in the relationship going to work/school, while the woman ends up staying home and becoming a caretaker. This leaves her with little-to-no time for self-improvement. From the age of eight, members were groomed into a temple marriage. Eight. No eight-year-old should be concerned about marriage. 

a. Even for men and women, education is limited and biased, if it doesn’t match with LDS teachings then members are taught to ignore the evidence even if it is factually/ scientifically based.

 

 

Living in this abusive culture has many negative repercussions, including:  

• Constant self-monitoring of behaviors 

• Deep fear of making mistakes 

• Having unclear boundaries  

• Sexual dysfunction 

• Total mistrust of body and heart 

• A long list of exhausting and unspoken rules 

• The belief that you are broken 

• Not knowing who you are 

• Over-responsibility 

• Disconnection from yourself 

• Built up resentment/pent-up anger 

• Critical internal chatter 

• Unexpressed opinions 

• Self-neglect 

• Hypervigilance  

 

 

“Your exhaustion as a Religious Abuse survivor comes from the struggle to try and survive in an abusive culture. Your body and brain are busy fighting for survival, avoiding conflict and working to meet unattainable expectations. The effort is exhausting.” 

-Connie A. Baker, MA LPC 

 

 “If it feels like your soul is dying, it’s abuse.” – Tonya Meisenbach

 

At the age of 29, I left the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My entire life as a member in the church I felt I was not worthy of God’s love, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how obedient I was. With a heavy heart I decided to walk out because I felt less suicidal when I wasn't an active member, and I would just have to beg for forgiveness in the next life for being so weak. A year later, I learned the truth about Joseph Smith and early church history and reflected on my life while I was a member of this organization. I realized I was not the problem; I was never the problem. It was the fact that I had sacrificed every fiber of my being for this church, I prayed, I read my scriptures, I did baptisms for the dead, I served multiple callings and read the church material, listened to church hymns instead of “worldly media”, I felt the holy ghost and the love of Christ.  I wanted so very much to be righteous and happy. But I was never happy. Not one day in the first thirty-three years of my existence did I experience true joy, true happiness, and true love. I, like every member of the church, had been separated from their true selves. If anyone feels miserable it is because they are not living to their truest self. It is not any members’ fault that they feel as lonely as they do. No one is as happy as they pretend to be, fast and testimony meetings are nothing more than peer pressure fueled by hunger.

 

 The leadership has lied to the world and its members about the history and character of Joseph Smith. He was a convicted con man (Brodie –pg. 30) when he fabricated the Mormon cult. He used narcissistic charm to manipulate anyone who would listen. Smith, who with his friends, exploited multiple children (the youngest that we know of being 14), single, and married women into “marriage” with the threat of eternal damnation if they refused. (Brodie- chapter XXIV, “Year of Polygamy”- Lindsay Hansen Park (podcast)) Joseph managed to get chased from town to town, not because of “Satan hardening the hearts of man to stop the spread of the gospel,” but because he was a sexual predator (Brodie-chapter XXIV) and extorted people out of land and money. (Brodie-pg. 202) 

 

Racism has been a central part of Mormonism since the beginning and continues to this day. From Jane Elizabeth Manning James begging to get her temple endowments, only to get sealed to Joseph Smith and his family as an eternal servant after she died, (churchofjesuschrist.org) to the refusal to allow black men to use the “priesthood” until the government threatened to start taxing the organization in 1978.(churchofjesuschrist.org) Not only did Mormons play a part in the indigenous residential schools during its early years, but up to the very recent “Indian Placement Program” that took 50,000 indigenous children from their homes and placed them into Mormon families. This program ran from 1974-2000. (Hemmersmeier, apnews.com) This quote from Legrand Richards in 1978 really encapsulates the attitude towards people of color. “The book of Mormon tells us that; and he has a dark skin, but he has promise there that through faithfulness, that they all again become a white and delightsome people.” The churches attitude towards people of color is that they are sinful and the darkness of their skin is a sign of their ancestors rejection of Christ, but if they become obedient Mormons, then they will become white again. There is also a belief that a lot of members talk about but it isn’t officially written down is that when a person of color dies, if they make it to the Celestial Kingdom (highest of the three heavens) that they will be “blessed” with white skin.

 

Missionary work is nothing less than modern-day colonialism, while the LDS leadership purchases land all over the world and sets up its businesses there. The church sends its youth to countries that are already struggling due to past colonizers and demanding that each member pay ten percent of everything they make to a $265 billion dollar organization (that doesn’t pay taxes) in exchange for a couple secret handshakes and expensive undergarments which the member must pay for on top of the tithing. The reason certain countries don’t allow missionaries isn’t because “Satan and the one third host of heaven are upset because they couldn’t get their bodies.” It’s because these countries recognize that Christianity is a tool used to colonize and wipe out entire cultures and civilizations.   

 

The LDS organization manages to receive free labor with missionary work, teachers, free cleaning services and there are many more ways members are exploited financially in this organization. The LDS organization used tithes to build their agricultural empire, paying almost 300 million dollars in cash for about 65 square miles throughout eight states this past October. (Semerad- Salt Lake Tribune) “Found in the church’s portfolio — along with the expected meetinghouses and temples — are office towers, shopping centers, residential skyscrapers, cattle ranches and high-mountain timberlands worth hundreds of millions of dollars.” (Semerad-Salt Lake Tribune) My question is, if you can pay almost $300 million in cash for land, but places like Pioneer Park still exist, and you don’t pay your members for all of the free labor that they do, including teaching, cleaning, bookkeeping, preparing meals for other members, so many service projects, the free babysitting so that the members with small children can still travel sometimes hours sometimes days to go and do temple work. There are so many faithful members of this organization who are struggling to pay bills and are being told to pay tithing over feeding their children. (Orellana-Ensign December 2012)

 

 This Proclamation is to call the LDS leadership out on the abusive culture that has been sown over the past two centuries. Parents are commanded to run their homes as the church is run, but the church is toxic and abusive, so the homes that are truly faithful to the church inherently become toxic and abusive. There is an entire Wikipedia page on Mormon abuse cases, that is how prevalent the abuse is in this culture. Multiple cases have proven that the LDS leadership has gone out of their way to silence victims and protect the abuser(s).

 

There is a series of videos put out by the church called “12 steps to change”. It is through the LDS addiction recovery program. Step 10 is the story of a woman named Adrienne. She had fallen into addiction, which is normal for people living through abusive situations. While she was recovering, she went to her husband for support and was met with the cold response “I’m sure you’ll make the right choice.” There was no support, no love, no comfort, all of which are necessary for recovery. That is the culture of the LDS organization. In another video, step three, Sharon shares the story of her addiction recovery. She is told that there is no way to heal her afflictions without God. Telling people that they cannot overcome their addictions, (or anything for that matter) without God is not only an abuse tactic but its simply not true. Having struggled with addiction in my past I testify that what you need to succeed is a strong sense of self-worth. No one can tell you what you can or cannot achieve but you. The people I have met who have successfully become sober all have one thing in common. They decided to love themselves enough to want to live and make the changes towards healing, most often without relying on God.

 

Rhoberta Shaler defines abuse as any behavior that is designed to control or dominate another person. Whether that is through fear, humiliation, intimidation, isolation, guilt, blaming, manipulation, or denial, it is abuse. Emotional abuse. Members of this organization are force fed abuse in all forms, sexual, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. Most members have carried the burden of abuse their whole lives and have no idea why they feel so miserable when they are promised happiness and love.

  

 Leadership immerses people in the idea that they can’t trust themselves and to only trust God, (Uchtdorf, Come, join with us 2013) but the leaders portray themselves as the only ones who know exactly what God wants (Jensen, Come, listen to a prophet’s voice, 1998) which means that members must be obedient to the Presidency. Members of this cult are commanded in what to wear, how to speak, what to eat, how to live, and to never educate themselves past what is deemed acceptable. There are people walking around who have never had the courage to have an original thought because the punishment for thinking differently is so high it is not worth the risk, in the mind of victims.

 

On my journey of discovering the truths about the LDS organization I met with many ex-Mormons who shared their stories of survival, these victims were failed by the people they loved and needed most. Many survivors of abuse reached out to parents, church leaders, and some to anyone who would listen. Instead of help or comfort these were some of the responses.

 

1. Every person makes mistakes, you’ll be fine, you can move out when you’re 18. 

1. Well, you’re 16, right? Two more years and you can find a good husband to take care of you! 

1. You know, the people who hurt us are hurting, too. If you could find ways to serve your abusers, then the love of Christ can come into your home, and you can all repent.  

1. They (abusers) don’t seem like those kinds of people. They’re such good members; These kinds of arguments are normal for your age, you will understand when you get older.  

2. I also dealt with abusive situations and it’s just a trial that the Lord has in place for us.

3. No matter how bad it gets, you need to forgive them, That’s Gods place to judge, not yours. It is your job to love them. 

4. “I told my bishop that my fiancé had raped me, he only turned his head in shame, and nothing was said for a few moments until he changed the subject.” - Anonymous

 

It’s convenient for an abusive system to preach nonviolence and forgiveness, when most (not all) priesthood leaders have been guilty of abuse of some form or another toward their wives and families, and even other members within their ward/stake. The LDS leadership has gotten by without reporting the mass amounts of abuse within the cult and their blatant human trafficking of indigenous children and babies born to unwed mothers through the LDS family services. It is well known that women who have children outside of wedlock are heavily persuaded to give their children up for adoption so that the child may be raised in a “righteous” home, righteous meaning having “worthy” parents.   

 

Members are fed fear-based doctrine, obedience above all, obedience above love, obedience above friends, family, and life. The story of Abraham is taken literally in many parent’s hearts, sacrificing their children’s wellbeing and happiness in the name of obedience. Leaders have taught their community to fear God more than loving their children. Don’t believe me? Ask any LGBTQIA+ member about their experience.

 

Over the past five years, I have come to meet and know the real God and he has told me to declare to you; Destroy this institution of violence and abuse. Whether you know you are doing wrong or are only the inheritors of a fearmongering curse, this must end. Right now. God is the embodiment of unconditional love; they want us to experience happiness and joy on a regular basis! Because you have been fed distorted media on what true unconditional love is, members are traumatized and living in a fear-based mindset, acting in a state of survival which after years of living in this mindset can turn into Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which can lead to addiction.  Also, generational trauma needs to be considered, so the longer this circus continues, the worse it is going to get for future generations.

 

Denying members a real education is a severely abusive and neglectful act. Knowledge is sacred and limiting someone’s education for your financial gain is cruel.  Specifically restricting the education of women, you are only holding yourselves back on the growth and gain you could make by empowering the women in the Mormon faith, but you know how powerful of a creature a liberated woman is, and you selfishly wish to keep all her energy for yourselves. So, you tell women that the highest achievement they can have on this earth is to get married to a man, have children and serve with all your might mind and strength.

 

 In the LDS video “You never know how much good you do” there is the story of a woman who puts everyone before herself. She sacrificed her own happiness for the people around her. This is not healthy! It’s not ok! Yes, community is important and helping others is a good thing, but to tell women that to solve their problems they need to put their cares and worries aside and serve others is not the answer. You are supposed to care for yourself also! Women don’t need to sacrifice every ounce of happiness and strength, it is not the members’ duty to save the world. I promise we are meant for a lot more than being an eternal servant.

 

 

“Worse than wolves disguised as sheep are the ones disguised as shepherds”

-Karen Swallow Prior

 

This is Gods commandment to the leadership; You must take full accountability for the actions past and current that have been harmful to humanity. Reparations must be paid to the people and cultures that you have abused and extorted from. For example:  The Polynesian Cultural center should be given to the Polynesian community, you are profiting from their culture. With what money is left over you must disperse equally amongst all members, even those who have left the flock, in penance for all the tithing and trauma you have inflicted. You must renounce the teachings of Joseph Smith, all were for his benefit and gain at the detriment of all around him, which has bled through to this modern day almost two-hundred years later. Then you must go to worldly therapy, your karmic debt is very high, and you should be afraid to see your lives in the next incarnation if you do not mend your ways of thinking and teaching.  

 

You preach of a spiritual war, yet you are the warmongers. The spirits of darkness are those who choose to control and abuse other spirits. There is no growth in your institution. You preach of a Savior and people sit and wait for someone who isn’t coming. We as humanity are supposed to save ourselves. If we need help, we don’t need to rely on God. We are a communal species, and we are supposed to work together so that all creatures great and small can have the best quality of life physically, mentally, and spiritually.

 

We are spirits having a human experience. God wants you to be happy, that’s it. They don’t care how many kids you have, what you look like, how you dress, what color your hair is, how many mistakes you’ve made, if you have bad thoughts, how much sex you have and how many people you’ve had it with, what you do on Sundays, if you’re a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, etc. God loves you and wants you to heal your hearts so that you can find true joy, love, and peace. The peace of feeling safe in your own body, mind, and spirit, is only possible outside the influence of this cult.

 

                If you choose to continue this worship of ego you must remove the name of Jesus Christ from your name and buildings. Jesus Christ was a refugee of color who preached love and healing. He had so much love and respect for women and taught that to his disciples.  Jesus was never a part of this capitalist army hellbent on genocide of man, culture, and spirituality. He would be flipping the tables in YOUR temples.   

-

Thus, sayeth the Lord

 

 

                You may choose to come after me and my character, but I have been a member of the church all my life, you created this monster, and now you must deal with it. For too long this doctrine has separated humanity from their highest calling, which is to love and have joy. Your people are suffering every day trying to achieve this unrealistic perfection mentality that has been measured out in great doses. The gaslighting and abuse must stop now.  

                                                           May God have mercy on your souls.

 

Amanda Michelle Finkle

 

 

*Resources  

 “No man knows my history” - Fawn M. Brody (book) 

“Year of Polygamy”- Lindsay Hansen Park (podcast) 

Jane Elizabeth Manning James (churchofjesuschrist.org) 

From the Archives: Church News Reports on 1978 Priesthood Revelation - Church News and Events (churchofjesuschrist.org) 

Utah reconciling history with Indian Residential Schools | AP News 

LDS Church, already an agricultural 'titan,' is buying farms in 8 states for $289M (sltrib.com) 

 New database gives widest look ever at LDS Church landholdings. See what it owns and where. (sltrib.com)

Mormon abuse cases - Wikipedia